Friday's Letters

Dear Boyfriend, I haven't taken the trash out once since you've been gone. And it's actually not because I'm too lazy. I just don't produce that much garbage, apparently. Ironic. (GET IT? BECAUSE OF THE TRASH THING? BECAUSE. TRASH. WASTE. GET IT?) I've also bought an embarrassing amount of magazines so I can take advantage of reading trash (HAH. TRASH AGAIN.) without you here to heckle me about it. I also finished season 3 of The League and used the ESPN app on the Xbox pretty much every night. (Pssst...these are things a GUY should be admitting to.) I've also had ramen for dinner...five times now? And I've made the mistake of having gluten for lunch pretty much every day which my stomach has not enjoyed. This is what happens when you leave. I'm spiraling downhill real fast. But you come home Sunday. And so help me God if you call me to pick you up from the airport and either Beyonce is on stage or the game is close, you are gonna have to get a cab home or sit on the airport curb. Who travels on Super Bowl Sunday? Who does anything non-football or commercial watching on Super Bowl Sunday? That's like blasphemy. You should feel like trash. (BAH. TRASH.) I am super proud of your awesomness though and all the stupid work you've gotten done. And I've had the BBC and two cute little dogs to keep me company. Dear Wind, WTF dude? Dear Duck, thank you for not peeing in the new apartment while Dad's been gone. I know how you like to pretend like you don't have to follow rules when it's just Mommy around. Which, lets be real, you don't really have to do with those huge ears and those adorable puppy eyes. Dear Rogue, thank you for snuggling under the covers with me last night. You're a great little spoon. Dear Sisters, beautiful singing in your recital. Good job making Mom and Dad cry. And Craven, break a leg at your audition tomorrow! Boston University is gonna be amazed. And if they are not, I will personally destroy them all. Dear Wind, seriously what is wrong with you?


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By: Chelsea Poole